Venus Days will be for poetry.
Venus Days will be for poetry.
i enjoy an escape.
through music, dance, reading—i like the luxury of leaving the experience that is my life, and taking a trip through someone else’s mind and heart. i do not escape to forget who i am, but to remember. to gain more insight on the endless experiences that are simultaneously taking place here on Earth, and incorporating the things i see, smell, taste, feel, and hear into my art, and into my life (art is an imitation of life, i do not believe it is the other way around).
i am a daydreamer, and i always have been. a few minutes of zoning out and you will find me in a completely different world i have imagined, birthed, and began to explore. this is my favorite. just me and breath. me and the colorful images dancing around within my mind. daydreaming is very important tool, and i want more people to know that. we need to allow more time to allow for our minds to wander. and not wander into the world of stressing ourselves out over our long to-do list that never seems to shorten. daydreaming goes hand in hand with building upon our creativity. i gain so much insight when i daydream. i map out my life when i daydream. as i am a well seasoned daydreamer, and have learned how to use this habit of mind as a tool to improve my life, i have consciously shifted from playing out moments of my life that i do not want to experience, and instead i play out what i do want to experience. this has all come with practice in tapping into the power of my subconscious mind to positively altar my life in various aspects.
*if you want to learn more about tapping into the power of your subconscious mind, pick up the book Psycho-Cybernetics here, or listen to the audiobook here. this book is a holy grail, you will not regret it.*
my love for escape has allowed me to be many different faces, and live many different lives within my 23 Earthly year existence. what is a challenge for me though, is non-attachment to the journey—who i become, who i meet, and so on. i read a book and i have made best friends (sometimes enemies) with the characters. the same goes for a good series, or a beautiful film. i am a sucker for books that involve hardcore character development, with lots of colorful imagery, because it better enables me to deeply feel into this world. book series are my favorite, because i get to stick with these places for a long while, but it is also refreshing to read a stand alone novel, and know that this journey i am embarking on is to be lived for a short while, with a revisit if i feel called to.
to escape into a piece of music is an experience i will never be able to fully explain with words. last night i ate a good amount of an edible, and it hit me as i was listening to Ramin Djawadi’s music scores. i then ventured into a Game Of Thrones soundtrack (i fucking love that show) and was completely blown away how people actually…compose music. i mean, how? thinking about the language of music makes my heart beat uncontrollably. i do not have the gift of reading, writing, or playing music, but i heavily appreciate those that do. those that piece together master sounds to create something completely beyond this place. one of my favorite things to do while being high is to listen to classical and jazz (Pink Floyd are honorable mention). every single instrument, every single sound is amplified and you hear just about everything that is going on within the song. i am able to separate each noise, and some how slow it down, give it my undivided attention, while doing the same thing to so many other sounds. it’s remarkable, and i will always be mind blown by it. so much of my inspiration comes from music alone.
while we’re on the subject of being high, i do in fact partake in mama marijuana as recreation—but always with purpose and intention. i also love psychedelics, for they allow me warrior aid in ripping off the layers and masks i build as i live in this physical existence, while showering me with healing love as i die and am reborn again. i take psychedelics usage seriously, as in i go in to these journeys ritualistically. these too, are escapes for me, but i escape with them to heal. i escape with them to gain knowledge on who “i” am—who is no thing, and every thing, all at once. i do not escape with psychedelics to have a good time, i utilize their ancient medicine to learn.
i would get antsy, and rather maddening if i did not have my various avenues to escape within. art is too an escape for me. as i draw, paint, and create jewelry, i am escaping into a creation formed by my experiences in this physical vessel, as well as all of my otherworldly journeys. so you see, i do not view escapism as a bad thing. the truth is that Earth is a very unpleasant place to be sometimes. and life gets fucking chaotic. why would you not want to engage with sources that make you feel better, if only for some time? sources that allow you to melt into a state of relaxation. i use these sources as tools to build a less unpleasant place for me, and my loved ones to be. being in my body is tough sometimes, but i am learning more and more each day how to enjoy this Earthly experience with more gratitude, more softness, more laughter, and more love.
when escapism becomes avoidance, that is a different story. i (we) are not here to avoid our lives and run away from this experience. we are here to face them straight on. there are so many tools here for us that have the strong ability to make this experience sweeter. escapism can be a form of therapy, as it certainly burns away stresses of our daily lives. but like everything else in life, there must be a balance with escapism.
if your productivity begins to take a downfall, and you become stagnant, it would be very wise to reevaluate the ways in which you are escaping, for how long, and if you are particularly doing it to avoid some problem in your life. ask yourself what you are doing to avoid a situation, and why. find a way to be rooted, and flowing in the heavens and stars at the same time. the word escapism is negatively used in our society, and (outside of this post) i do my best to stay away from that word. my means of escape are my meditations, my time of recharging and refueling. call it something else that vibrates something more positive within you. reality is a special place to be. i am grateful for every day i get another chance at living, and although their are many factors and forces determining the direction of our lives, we do have the power to change and adjust our world to a certain extent. we are creators—obviously, as we create these many avenues outside of our reality to exist within. the same way we do that, we can create a more exciting life for us.
what is the difference between use and abuse?
perception is everything.
Maybe I would like to say that my hermit ways exist only within the darker, colder months of the year—but that would be a lie. I light up around the right people, I love being in social situations when I am in a particular social mood, but most of all I prefer the company of myself. I have always been this way, and as I hermit I create worlds. I dance and play in these worlds, taking in their magick. My hermit nature allows me to create endlessly, and for that I am grateful.
Winter is very special (though Fall is my favorite, and I do think I could exist within a world where it is Fall always), and I feel Winter approaching in my Heart before anything. I feel the need to prepare the stripping of myself fully naked and for the burial underneath piles of snow. I have to prepare to get raw, to go deep, to rest. Oh how I thoroughly enjoy the rest that comes with Winter. Me under mountains of blankets with my books and cups of tea (I am currently in a loving relationship with Earl Grey).
Winter provides the environment for much Shadow Work, realigning, and lots and lots of decay. Not only do the trees shed their leaves, but we shed the pieces of ourselves that are no longer in alignment with who we currently are, and that’s okay, it’s delightful even. Less weight, more flying. More shedding. more change. Snake medicine.
I go through many dramatic phases in my life, because I am a very dramatic, intense, romantic person. I don’t see this as a bad thing at all. I like to experience feeling as much as I possibly can. I love to feel. I love to express my feelings through my art, it is the only way I can enjoy this life. Intensely, or not at all, that is my motto. I had a dream days ago where I finished destroying the symbolic physical example of something I am currently working through within the 3D, and afterwards I found myself picking out a silky robe and lingerie for my rebirth. I kept telling everyone around me that I have to “go die now”, and if my sweet Cancer man (my real life lover) came looking for me, tell him I had to go die but I’ll be reborn soon. That outfit was my rebirth outfit. It was all black—which made me giggle when I recalled the dream because I love to wear black and it’s funny that I wanted to be reborn in black instead of white. In this dream, I was a literal phoenix with magickal powers. It was beautiful., oh my goodness It was a more dramatized version of how I feel in my day-to-day life. Like a phoenix. I come back stronger each time I rebuild from my ashes.
And so, The Heart’s Abyss and Other Stories came to life from this fiery sexy dream of mine. Using the feelings I experienced within this dream to create a collection of jewelry that can work as allies throughout the dark days. Crystals are tools filled with potent medicine that I utilize in any and every situation in my life. The jewelry pieces I created for this Winter collection hold the power to heal along the journey of deepening and freeing up space within the Heart…and anything else that you desire to fill the pages of those other stories.
I let crystals tell me their story, and develop a relationship with them before I assume they will work for me the exact way a book / article online says they will. You will experience a crystal’s medicine differently from other people. and that is so beautiful. Allow yourself to open up to the face they will greet you with. It might be completely different than what I described above, and allow it. Allow it all.
The Heart’s Abyss and Other Stories is an opening to the unknown.
At the beginning of this journey, you will be greeted by a Sagittarius fire that has been dimmed for too long. This fire will guide you throughout the darkness of the Winter months.
Even when you think that you have reached the end of your journey, go deeper, always deeper. I am with you here.
Do you have any idea how deep this goes? Me into you, you into me. When the Moon is filling herself in, I—rising before the Sun himself, gaze outside of my bedroom window. Still sleepy and partially floating within the realm of dreams, I then wonder…can you believe this infinite space conjoined our realities at a time that could not have been more perfect, more absolute for our hearts to reach across cities and tell one another: “Here I am, I am ready now, come home to me”.
I am certain that I would have heard your call no matter where my body was located upon this Earth. Yes, I am certain, because the same dust that is intertwined within your soul dances within mine, and within my bones as well. When you smile in that fresh way, I am reminded of that video of you that I would replay again and again (back when what seems like a lifetime ago now), just to feel the firework explosion of fluttering creatures within my belly. You were so far away from me then, but we are here now, in this togetherness.
We are here, and I plunge deep into The Abyss for this love. You do not hesitate to swim right after me. How satisfying it is to see myself within your eyes and be this free, this encouraged to be free. Keep showing me you, you in all shapes, you in all forms. I am privy to both your soul’s and heart’s scent no matter what you physically choose to embody in this timeline.
I travel within the corridors of your magnificence, and God, how vast your library is. How I could cozy up with a cup of tea and make a career out of studying you…you who, rightfully so, seems to have been the sculptor of my body with your bare hands. Do our minds connect by an invisible thread? Did you know that when I spin into your love, I spin into my own love? You must know, because I did not shine as bright as I do now, before you. Don’t you see this?
We are going to fall, float, soar, dive, and soak in love over and over again, in so many different places.
You and I.